ST. GEORGE — Imagine a world where everyone’s intention was to show love and compassion to everyone they met, every day. What would that look like? One man hopes to find out.
By utilizing the five love languages, “Role of Love” creator Paul Zolman has started a movement of love and compassion in the form of a game. Whether your primary love language is words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time or gifts, you know how it feels when someone expresses love the way you receive it.
“Send love without any expectation of it coming back, but trust that it will,” Zolman said. “You can call it the law of the harvest, karma, the law of attraction – whatever you call it, it’s coming back to you eventually. But sending out love every single day – that’s the mission.”
“Role of Love” is a set of dice that encourages players to demonstrate love every single day. To play, a person rolls the dice every morning. Whatever love language it lands on is the form of love a player practices all day. He licensed the game in 2017 and wrote the accompanying book “Role of Love” and the “Role of Love” journal this year.
Zolman said the game does not require a significant other to play. The goal is to show love to everyone and ultimately turn it into a full-time thought process.
The idea behind the game began when he decided to stop blaming his parents and his childhood for his anger, resentment and poor choices.
He said growing up in an angry household, he’s seen firsthand how coping mechanisms and poor decision-making can be passed from generation to generation. For example, Zolman’s grandmother died after giving birth to her ninth child. His grandfather grew distraught and began to sell everything he owned – his farm, his equipment and eventually his own children.
“When people came to the auction, he would say, “Would you like this child, or would you like this child?’ He systematically gave away all his children except for one,” Zolman said.
His grandfather then moved to Montana with his one remaining child, remarried and had 10 additional children, of which Zolman’s father was the sixth. When Zolman’s father was 10 years old, his father passed away, leaving a total of 19 children abandoned during the throws of an economic depression.
Zolman’s father dropped out of school after eighth grade but eventually became a diesel mechanic and truck driver. He had 11 children, of which Zolman is number 10. Growing up, his father and mother had a date night at a local bar every Friday. They talked about their week, which included his mother telling every bad thing the kids had done. His father would then come home and discipline them, which included a belt or severe spankings.
“I remember one time I was black and blue on my rear for more than three weeks,” he said. “It was severe. It wasn’t a happy time, and I dreaded the weekends.”
They did have some good times, though, and most of those were centered around family game nights.
After moving in with his brother for six months at age 17, he realized they both shared the same quick temper that their father had. Both of them allowed things to annoy them, which stacked and stacked until it exploded in a flash of anger. No one could predict the explosions since the annoyances were stacked under the surface before it erupted.
He blamed his father for his behaviors up until the age of 35 — seven years after his father died.
“I had this epiphany,” Zolman said. “I realized I’m responsible for what I do in my life. And I’m responsible for my own happiness.”
He realized the opportunity to change his family’s perception and stop the generational anger was in his hands. He read the Color Code and learned about the five love languages: physical touch, acts of service, quality time, gifts and words of affirmation.
“As they relate to Jesus Christ, he spent time with people, he served people, had the gifts of the holy spirit and touched them to heal them and we love his words,” he said.
He loved the concept of applying love languages to everyday life. As he thought back to playing games as a family and how it brought them together, it sparked an idea. What if he made love languages a simple game for all ages?
Zolman created his own images to represent the five love languages and put them on dice. He added an additional image, which stands for “surprise me,” which encourages players to seek out opportunities to do random acts of kindness.
He titled the game “Role of Love,” which he copyrighted in 2017. He wrote the accompanying book “Role of Love,” which includes his personal back story along with stories of those who have used the game. He also created a Role of Love journal — both of which were published this year.
A private K-6 school in Southern Utah is testing the dice in the classroom, and he said the results have been impressive. The die is rolled at the beginning of class and that love language is applied throughout the day. In the last 15 minutes of class, students record in their journals what opportunities they saw to love in that way and what they did about the opportunities.
Not only does it make children responsible for their own behavior, it creates a year-long love journal for them to look back on. He hopes to incorporate the “Role of Love” into more homes and classrooms, teaching youth that their happiness is their own responsibility, and when they send love out, they get it back.
“For me, I now stack loving things instead of annoyances,” he said. “You get to the point of compassion, then you get to the point of forgiveness, then you get to the point of charity. That’s what happens when you stack loving actions instead of annoyances that lead to a flash of anger.”
To purchase the “Role of Love” bundle, which includes the book, journal and dice, visit their website. Follow @roleoflovedice or @paul_zolman on Instagram for more information or find them on Facebook here.
Photo Gallery
Paul Zolman, owner of Role of Love, takes a photo with his custom license plate, dice, books and journal, St. George, Utah, Sept. 25, 2023 | Photo by Jessi Bang, St. George News
Paul Zolman, owner of Role of Love, takes a photo with his custom license plate, dice, books and journal, St. George, Utah, Sept. 25, 2023 | Photo by Jessi Bang, St. George News
The Role of Love journal cover is shown | Photo courtesy of Paul Zolman, St. George News
The Roll of Love game, book and journal by Paul Zolman sit on a bench at Vernon Worthen Park in St. George, Utah, Sept. 25, 2023 | Photo by Jessi Bang, St. George News
The Role of Love book cover is shown | Photo courtesy of Paul Zolman, St. George News
The Roll of Love dice game is seen in its bubble packaging, location and date unspecified | Photo courtesy of Paul Zolman, St. George News
Paul Zolman, owner of Role of Love, takes a photo with his dice, books and journal, St. George, Utah, Sept. 25, 2023 | Photo by Jessi Bang, St. George News
The Roll of Love game, book and journal by Paul Zolman are pictured, location and date unspecified | Photo courtesy of Paul Zolman, St. George News
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