ST. GEORGE — When speaking about the past year, most days were good days for Everlee. In the past she has struggled with many problems such as anxiety in crowded rooms, not having close friends, intermittent bullying and a medical diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Not to mention the side effects of the medication that was prescribed.

Today, the seventh-grader is more confident in school and when speaking to others, not so quick with her temper, thinks a bit more before speaking and she’s attempting to manage hyperactivity without prescriptions. 

So, what changed? Three years ago she made a new friend. A close one.

“I don’t really know how to keep friends,” she said during a game of UNO with St. George News. “Alix has helped me learn a lot about how to communicate with others. She helps to push me out of my comfort zone, but she knows not to push me too far because then it doesn’t go over well.”

The ‘big’ change

Born in Haiti, Alix Wimber and her older sister moved to Arizona with their adoptive parents as children. She had a great family, was nurtured by supportive parents in a good community, then moved to St. George as an adult and worked hard while earning her degree from Utah Tech University.

Everything was perfect, except for one thing. Something she just couldn’t stop thinking about. She had always dreamed of having a little sister.

“The main reason I wanted to join was because I always wanted a little sister, and then all the other stuff just came,” she said. “Hearing her say that is very comforting because we haven’t actually had a lot of these conversations.”

While things were a little weird for both at first, they learned to “talk it through.” Now in her everyday life, Wimber is the one using coping mechanisms she learned “with” Everlee.

“It really helped me, being her big sister,” she said, “to help talk myself through difficult situations and actually push myself to do something that I don’t think I can do.”

The need

The now inseparable sisters met for the first time in St. George through Big Brothers Big Sisters Utah, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing mentors, also known as bigs, to at-risk youth in the community.

Nationally, applications for Big Brothers Big Sisters mentorship are up, while volunteers to be a mentor have significantly decreased. In Utah, 959 children were paired with a mentor through the organization in 2022, said Alison Amann, marketing manager at Big Brothers Big Sisters Utah in Salt Lake City.

“While we celebrate this success, we also recognize that there are more than 75 Utah kids waiting for a mentor today — 90% are boys,” she said.

In the St. George office of Big Brothers Big Sisters Utah, enrollment and recruitment coordinator Becky Hurd said historically more women volunteer than men to be a “big” to a “little.” Males are only paired with males, and females with females. Women volunteer more as mentors, creating a waiting list for boys looking for brothers.

There are other rules, like a background check and training. Then a one-year commitment, where the first few meetings with the child are required to be held at the office. And, bigs must meet at least once a month with their little brother or sister.

“We do ask for a one-year commitment because it is so crucial to build a relationship, and that takes time,” she said. “In terms of personal outcome in these children after that first year, we see better interpersonal interactions, higher social competency, they do better in school, they have higher academic aspirations, reduction in risky behaviors – there are lots of studies to back that up.”

What is it like?

Now the two meet up once or twice a month, depending on their schedules, and go to the park, skate, watch movies, fight about who is cheating at card games, grab some candy at Judd’s, Everlee’s favorite candy store, or make plans to swim that never quite happen.

But after three years, they are quite comfortable with their friendship and both say they are better people as a result.

“It’s not something that is really going to take up a lot of your time,” Wimber said. “It’s really going to benefit both of you in the end. If you are really thinking about it, for sure do it.”

Big Brothers Big Sisters Utah is always in need of volunteer mentors, said President Nancy Winemiller-Basinger, but the COVID-19 pandemic made the shortage even worse.

“In the United States, only 1 in 3 kids grows up with a caring and consistent mentor,” she said. “We celebrate all the 2022 BBBSU mentoring matches. We know that these relationships are changing lives and our communities for the better.”

According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the COVID-19 pandemic had many negative effects on youth in America. A 2021 survey of high school students revealed that more than 37% experienced poor mental health during the pandemic.

Those interested in the Big Brothers Big Sisters Utah organization can apply, interview and train online before making a commitment, said Amann. Click here for more information about volunteering or donating.

“We need all kinds of mentors because we have all kinds of kids,” she said. “You may think you don’t have time to make an impact in the life of a young person – but you would be surprised how with great consistency, a little time can make a big difference.”

Copyright St. George News, SaintGeorgeUtah.com LLC, 2023, all rights reserved.